Monday, 31 May 2010

Like a satellite, I’m in an orbit all the way around you...

I cannot stop listening to Satellite by Lena Meyer-Landrut.
The song that won the Eurovision Song Contest.
Therefore making me an incredibly sad, sad creature...It's still a really good song though. For some reason it reminded me of 'I'll Kill Her' by SoKo and now I keep listening to that as well. I don't think I really like SoKo that much. I like maybe 2 of her songs.
Not that she has that many out anyway...

After (the day after, I think) I hurt my neck in London, I met Paloma at Waterloo station and then we wandered around and I stayed at her house. We watched 'Secretary', which I'd previously only seen part of but enjoyed. It's a good movie.
I went to see Laura, who I hadn't seen in ages but met when I was 9 and this other girl -Amy- I was friends with when I was 9 was there too. We made cupcakes and Laura unearthed a bottle of wine and there was popcorn and we watched some movie that I can't really remember too well but it bored me.

I came back up to Carlisle. Not a lot has happened since I got back. I was meaning to go to Lancaster to see Sarah but I'm broke, so I didn't. It's too expensive a trip. Johnny and I went for a walk the other day and there was some steam fair thing going on and we walked through where all the caravans and things were and there were lots of odd, odd things going on.
And swarms of bugs.
No more walking through parks until the weather is different, I suppose.

Talked to Keira, am working at hes fes in July. No idea what I'm doing. Was meant to last year but couldn't afford to get there.
That was bad.
It should be good this year.
I hope some friends I haven't seen in a long time are there. My old tutor will probably be there (another person I have known since I was 9. Except a proper real life grown up who can be like 'oh god, you've grown up into a failure, haven't you?' or something...Not that I've actually grown up into a failure...But if anyone could tell, she probably could. ANYWAY, moving on...).

I got a copy of 'Crazy Taxi 3', which my brothers and I used to take turns at playing, even though it's one of the worst games ever to hit the world. Basically, you drive around in a speeding, jumping taxi and smash into things and try and get your passenger to their destination in about a minute.

So I'm gonna go play that.

Friday, 28 May 2010

Dear ___________,

As civil as I try to be with you, I cannot imagine a world in which I do not want to punch you in the jaw.

Proper and less angry update later.

Also read my review of Jessica Allyn's f***ing brilliant album 'Delusions of Grandeur' here: ...shut up, you have to start somewhere.

Sunday, 16 May 2010


In the end, all I did was go to Sainsbury's with mum, make dinner and lie in bed.
Shortly after my last blog post, I decided to 'get on with my day' by taking a shower.
I injured my neck whilst washing my hair.
I have been in awful pain all day.
I am hoping it will feel slightly better tomorrow as I plan on actually doing things tomorrow.

'I'll make you wings out of paper and glue...'

'...and you can fly wherever you are thinking, as long as you fly on back to me.' -'CRUSH', VERMILLION LIES (may have gotten something wrong. This is what I hear on the crappy recording I have on my iPod.)

Still in London. Have decided that I will stay until Saturday and meet up with Johnny in Leicester.
Today I'm meant to go on a picnic with Paloma and possibly Charley but we didn't really come to a decision in regards to when/where this picnic would take place. So maybe it will be today, maybe it will be...Not today!
Was also invited to some thing in Hyde Park but decided not to go to that as I'm fairly certain it involved people who I don't like and some people who absolutely disgust me.
Unfortunately, this also means not seeing two friends that I haven't seen in ages and ages. But I might see one of them on Tuesday, so it's not terribly tragic.

Yesterday, Riley and I went to the William Morris Gallery. It used to be the home of William Morris and it is in Lloyd Park, which is behind my family's house. Even when I lived with my family, I never ever went to it.
But yesterday, we were walking past and I saw that the door was open (I've never seen it open and it just looked so much more inviting, as it didn't feel like I was just barging into this big, pretty house) and I knew that entry is free and it just seemed like a good idea.
It's beautiful old house, filled with beautiful old things.
I bought some postcards. One for myself and one for Johnny. But I'm yet to decide if I'd rather mail it to him or just give it to him on the weekend. Probably the latter, as I'm so lazy.
The upstairs of the gallery scared me. When I got up there, I realised that even though I'd never been there, it was mostly the same as a building in a dream I had once, where someone was selling books and then suddenly it started to collapse and the floor kept falling away from under one of my feet.
In reality, the floor of the upper storey in the gallery is so creaky that it really did feel like I was going to fall through it.
One of the rooms made me feel a bit weird. I can't remember what was on the walls, but I know there was something. I remember that there was a fireplace and I remember Riley pointing out a power socket and joking that 'I bet that's where William Morris plugged in his electric heater.'
All I can really remember from that room is feeling disoriented and wanting to get out. As soon as I walked out, it went away.
That's exactly how I imagine it feels to be somewhere that is 'haunted' (which I never really believed in exactly).
Not that I thought it was haunted at the time.

We went home and I switched on my laptop to find an email from Amanda, thanking me and Kaitlin for doing all the merch stuff. It was really lovely. I hadn't expected it and it was a nice little thing to have happen.

While watching 'Total Wipeout', I struck up a conversation on twitter with a guy I met while doing merch. This guy was so funny and friendly and kept talking to us, so we got his twitter username. He is a part of this amusing online game...
I didn't do very well at it, but I enjoyed it anyway.

I watched Doctor Who with my brothers and asked Johnny to call me to talk about it. He didn't seem to want to, because he had things to do, but he did. And we had a nice talk. And he opened and read my mail to me.

I played Jenga with Will for a while. He doesn't actually have proper Jenga, he has...a sort of rip-off game, I guess...Called Tumble Down. It had the name of the game over and over in different languages down the side, and one of them was 'wackelturm'. So instead of shouting 'jenga!' when the tower collapsed, we started shouting 'wackelturm!!!!'
Will then had to go to bed (oh the joys of being 7!!!) so I got my laptop back out and watched the movie 'Hideous Kinky'. Mostly because I read the book a long time ago and have been meaning to ever since.
I've heard that it's awful, but I rather enjoyed it. Not in a way where I now consider it to be the greatest movie ever, but I did enjoy it.
Kate Winslet is beautiful in it and I could relate to some of the things that happened to the characters.

Now to try and get on with my day.

Friday, 14 May 2010


Kept waking up and falling asleep this morning, in and out of a dream where I was on a bus and there was this...weird talking baby-like creature who was loud and angry and wanted me to do the things that it couldn't do due to a lack of mobility.
Other parts of the dream also seemed to take place in Maida Vale tube station (the closest station to the tiny 2 bedroom house my family -with 5 members- used to have to pack into when I was 9-10) but with strange things. The ticket office was more of an old fashioned looking vending machine and the escalators were gone.
Maida Vale tube station has been in a lot of my dreams and I don't know why.

Today I decided that I'll probably stay in London an extra 5 days.
1. I don't see my family enough.
2. If I do that, I can get a bus to Leicester and meet Johnny there and get a train back with him the next day. It beats shelling out for the train journey back to Carlisle OR doing the less expensive 8 hour bus trip.
3. Gives me more time to go to shops I haven't been to in ages. Like Muji. And also art shops, because there aren't really any in Carlisle that I can go to. And galleries. Apparently one of my dad's friends has an exhibition on now or sometime soon, so I suppose if I'm around, I can swing by that too.
4. Gives me more time to sort out when Paloma and I are having a picnic. Because we've been discussing it since I got here, and while I have seen her, it wasn't for a picnic.
5. Maybe catch up with more Brigade types that I usually only see during an Amanda Palmer thing (and seeing as I was working at the last few, I barely saw them even then).
6. Mostly it would be nice to spend some more time with Will.
I'm proud of Will. My monster of a 7 year old brother.
It was Mothers Day, the other day, in other countries such as Australia, where I was born and have spent most of my existance so far, so I bought a copy of 'The Science of Sleep' for my Mum. Will doesn't understand most of it, seeing as most of it is in French, but has decided he loves it anyway, because of all of Stephane's dreams.
The other day, I found him pulling colorful crepe paper out of a box and I asked what he was doing and he told me that he wanted to make a picture of himself. So I helped him a bit and I made one of myself, too.
He plays a lot of video games, as do my other two brothers, and he is incredible at them. The things that I struggle with, the things my other brothers struggle with...he breezes through. And he's 7. He never ceases to amaze me.
ANYWAY, with the crepe paper self portraits and his enjoyment of 'The Science of Sleep' dream sequences, I've come to realise that despite how much time he spends playing video games, he's not a little zombie child.
He's a pretty creative kid -not that it's shocking. I know children generally are.- but I didn't realise just how capable of these things he is. I think that I forgot, because I've not been able to spend so much time with him, what with living on the other end of the country.


Wednesday, 12 May 2010

Why Not Blog Today?!

I haven't blogged in some time (who cares? Who even reads this shit?) but I've just had so much going on that I haven't had time to or felt like it.

According to Twitter, only twenty (CAN'T BE?!) days ago, I was in London (as I am now, but I have been back to Carlisle since) at KOKO in Camden, getting shit together to do merch for Amanda Palmer.
Here is a link to a picture she posted of me and fellow merch girl Kaitlin:
I happen to look like some kind of evil troll in half of the pictures I am in from that night.
Here is a nicer one from the next night at Bush Hall:
Anyway, Amanda's crew got trapped in the US due to the ASHCLOUD from the Iceland volcano (which she luckily escaped, which prompted me to do this drawing, which Amanda also tweeted: (you'll notice that I am opting to post links to Facebook and Amanda's twitpic. This is from laziness. If you can't see the above pictures of Kaitlin and myself, either Amanda's deleted them from twitpic or facebook's not letting you see) and she was short a merch girl. Also they needed someone who could drive. Which I can't.
Beth emailed me asking if I could do merch in Glasgow, Dublin and London, as I had already done it at a couple of shows last year. I said no to Dublin because I didn't have my passport on me (in London with my mother) but yes to Glasgow and London. So the next day I got on a train with Johnny (to whom I had given my guest list space as a sort of crap birthday present -my plan had been to use a ticket, but these both turned out unnecessary as we were both given AAA passes).
Highlight of the night #1: Amanda saying thank you to me, 'Audrey my friend from London who came here to do merch!' onstage. I punched my fists in the air and yelled 'yeah!' along with the crowd, still cheering at her thanks speech, which was aimed at the last minute support bands, her emergency tour manager Sven and myself, attracting much attention from the people at the bar to my right.
After the show we were being kicked out so a few of us piled into a shockingly slow elevator to find the dressing room, where everyone else had apparently congregated and Amanda was passing beer and tea cakes out (I guess she needed to get rid of them to make space?) before we all went downstairs to see if there was any space in the bar. There was not.
We went to the resturant and took over a booth in a corner.
Some stuff happened. Lots of yelling and stuff.
Amanda made a toast and somewhere in there I yelled 'I RULE', perhaps slightly louder than I'd meant to.
(note to self: just don't drink.)
Basically this is a post about my ego being fed with gratitude and how I respond loudly to things, I suppose.
ANYWAY, after a trek to their far-away parked tour van and some goodbyes, we walked back to the hotel and got sleep. Then we wandered around Glasgow, I contemplated buying 'Kneller's Happy Campers' (book upon which a movie I love is based) and we got on a train back to Carlisle, where I made arrangements (travel tickets, etc.) for London.
I stayed in my family's house for the first night. I got to their house and opened my laptop to find 9 emails from Amanda, her tour manager, Holly (who was thought to be doing merch but ended up not doing merch at the UK shows) and Kaitlin. Including excel spreadsheets and a PDF file. Christ on a bike.
Read all of them, made battle plan.
Arrived in Camden and called Kaitlin, who told me how to get into the venue (after a brief struggle. Eventually Bitter Ruin -support band, amazing, google them- showed up and I just went in with them) and told me to meet her upstairs in the production office.
We spent a lot of time running around and having little idea as to what we should do and running minor un-merch-related errands before finally getting our shit together and sorting out the mess of merch. It was a busy night indeed.
I stayed with Kaitlin and the woman she was staying with, whose name is Liz.
The next day we went to Bush Hall for the first of 3 shows there. The first two days, while eventful, I cannot be arsed with describing.
On Sunday, the final day, there were two shows.
One during the afternoon at Underworld in Camden, followed by the 3rd and final Bush Hall show.
We were meant to be preparing to leave Camden at 5pm.
Amanda and Jason realised onstage that it was 5pm.
We all packed into the tour van and went to Bush Hall slightly late.
Jason, Kaitlin and I were in the back of the van and my phone rang. My ringtone has been a Jason Webley song for over a year and I thought nothing of it when it rang. For 10 minutes. Then it hit me.
As we neared the venue, I saw a familiar head of curly red hair and freaked the fuck out.
'What's wrong?', asked Jason, Captain of Greatness.
'A friend of mine who I haven't seen in ages is here and I won't have any time to see her!!!'
'Ask her to help us unload the van and then she can hang out inside!', he suggested (thus earning his title as Captain of Greatness).
So I did.
I ran over there and went 'Rach! I need your help!'
And I got to take her in early.
It was brilliant. The table was pretty much set up already so I just had to eat and we sat down and had a chat and it was wonderful to see her again.
Highlights of the last night: Amanda thanking Kaitlin and I onstage while we stood at the door to the hall towards the end of the show, Holly handing us glasses of champagne as it was the last night after the show while we were still working.

I've left so many details out of this.
But it was great.

Some pictures from the last night:
AFP: Let's lie down in the boxes, it will be an accurate representation of your week. (something to that effect but I can't remember what it was exactly)
Me: You can do that. I'm gonna sit here.

L-R: Alex, Me, Drew, Ben.

Georgia, Me, Amanda, Kaitlin, Drew, Jason.

This was the night most of the photos were taken and as it was the final and busiest night, the day I'd put the least effort into my outfit/hair/errr...face.

Other stuff:
Started a project called Hungry Ghosts last month, here's the website:
Nothing up there aside from who the artists are and stuff.
Was very busy.
But soon there will be stuff.

Will turned 7 on Monday, so I came to visit for his birthday and have made him 2 cakes (cheesecake with a lovely raspberry syrup & a white chocolate mud cake).

Now I'm sitting in my mums room watching her play uno with will. :)

About Me

'Audrey was born as a muffin in the early 20's. After nearly eight decades of staying the same age, she moved to London and was declared a fully grown human. She is an artist and also chocolate flavoured.' -Bekki Lisciandro • 'Like a lizard on prozac' -Sophia Moss • '[] a brilliant exploration of themes that reveals an intelligent stream of consciousness through a varied and engaging gallery of work. I was captivated, amused and driven to want to return to this site.'